Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Do we really need a day to show that we love...care? We could prove everyday instead through our actions that we love. When I say 'prove' I mean t would show through our everyday words/gestures/actions that we do love and care...
I know of people who wait for this one day in the year to express love and kindness to their special someone in their lives...and then there are those who couldnt care less even on this one day to treat the special someone in their lives right...
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
It comes in a package of bitter-sweet memories..rewards...this transition. Most times I just want to stop the hand of the clock to right here, right now and hide her in my warm, safe hug wanting to shield her forever..at other times though I know this life is her very own quest to find, learn, discover..I will but be there as her guide, giving solicited and at times unsolicited advice to her.
But I do know one thing. I will be there for her always. 'Being there' even though at times not physically but whenever she does need me. And God forbid if she stumbles or if her step evers falters my arms will always be there to break her fall...
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Monday, January 24, 2011
Treading that joyful path of hope is very important, but it would'nt be half as beautiful if we didnt stop and smelled the roses in between..enjoy the journey..each step of that glorious path of hope..
The rest would all come easy with that 'can do' attitude.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
And it goes for our emotions, love, material things...
Its all in the mind..
Instant gratification, insta pleasure and stimulants go hand in hand. Drugs, smoking, drinking..etc...are all outside stimulation which I think we are strong enough to say no to if we want. People argue that these are harmless enough, but I abhor these for the evil it produces in a man when drunk or under the influence of drugs and immidiately the world turns into an unsafe place..for kids..women.
I dont think we need any kind of outside stimulation - which only make a person weak, dependant..The best is within. And believe me we can feel the subliminal ecstasy without the outside stimulation. Push that imagination, go past those pre-concieved boundaries in the mind..explore..its all in the mind and the best is yet to come.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
If we could just rise above 'ourselves' and just be. And if there be doubts any doubts (my current stage of mind right now) at all then one takes one of the two ways to reach the divine. One is the obvious higher path..the other just submerge oneself in the grime called life try and live it in all its totality, till the light be seen or the thirst dies..
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
If at all religion asks us to change something its never been on the outside but within..for the outer shell is just that – a shell. If we want to make a a difference in this world then we need to change just one person and that would be us. We can upgrade ourselves to be a better human being full of love, warmth and acceptance. We can wipe out our insecurities to revel in the glorious soul within. Whether we choose to do this or not is entirely our decision in end.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Then I deleted or rather edited the comment and even though felt guilty feeling fake send the edited one. Because I felt I would not only be hurting her sentiments but a whole lot of other people's too.
But this is exactly how I feel. Even though I wont be celebrating this year due to personal reasons but every year I have a fake one at my place on X'mas and it looks more beautiful than the real one..
Why? Because of it one tree is still standing outside...
Sunday, December 12, 2010
I feel sad at having missed lovely Sophia's sunday sketches, 160 and one shoot..next time. Its all that I look forward to at times like these
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Or just an effort on their part to pick the remnants of what is left..pick up their dreams gathering dust somewhere in a corner and go out and..aaaaahhhh..breathe for the first time.
‘A validation for who we want to be’ ? Yes, perhaps that is what inspires us to shake off the familiarity of the present relationship and go for the new one. Maybe not for any other reason but simply because we want to be..exist. That gives us strength enough to leave the security of the familiar ground and tread new territory…
Also on trial and error basis life continues to teach us so much, and what seemed (to put it lightly) yum a decade ago might now seem yuck. Because of the hidden attributes coming to surface which after a while matter more than the shell the human body is made of.
In hindi (yeah there I go again) is an adage which goes ‘surat say bhalee seerat’ which means that the temperament or the basic nature of a person is much more important than a beautiful face or a body..for how long can a person enjoy the pretty face of the diva-turned-devil or the stud gone dud…
Sometimes aye the weeds
grow too long and strong
and then its time to move on…
But we live with the consequences of not only our decisions but the action based on that decision. And that is where the fear factor comes in. It scares us, stops us, delays the flowering of the soul..the fear of the unknown binds the feet with unseen shackles which hiss ‘better the devil you know than the one you dont’
Tis true that ‘newness might be enough to carry us through for a long time’..but how long is the question.
But still if you have given almost a decade or two of your life to an abusive relationship trying to make things work. If you still feel alive enough to have some shred of sanity, integrity left about you, and if you still dream are capable of dreaming still..then you might want to call it quits..start anew…put your roots down in dewy moist fresh receptive ground and grow...reach out .
Reach up and out
You can really touch that sky
Monday, December 6, 2010
For some people winning is everything - doggedly moving on - no matter how steep a climb it be but if I need to get up there then come what may - I will. Sometimes..this succeeds - most times it fails.
But its only this risk taker who in the end savours the fruit of success, is able to put down roots and settle down finally – beating the odds. And why shouldn’t he/she ? Beat the odds of that 10% negligible chance and held on to it – the love/relationship for dear life and ‘won’.
Then there is the escapist who at the first sign of trouble run a mile- keeping/maintaining as much distance possible between them and their ‘trouble’. These are people who have been fighters all their lives. Not the good way, but fighters for the basics of life..their survival. And they tend to see the trouble in a relationship as a shredder of their last remaining sane page of life. They are the ones who hav’nt healed at all or were in the process- not quite there.
And even if in their heart they knew that this indeed was the real deal ‘it’ they just arent equipped enough for the emotional ride and upheavels caused by this love..
Sunday, December 5, 2010
In hindi (there I go again :) there’s a casual saying ‘tuh nahi toh koee aur sahi’. Someone else will do just fine if you are not ready for me..I mean imagine! I still cant get over this particular saying and thank God for it, because if I get used to this then it means I am ready to join the instant gang.
On a lighter note if you are truly in love with someone for the very first time what would you like to be for them - their 5 minutes instant maggi noodles..
or cooked -long - and strong - biryani
Me - I would rather be your Biryani anyday..can wait an eternity for you..but dont want to be your instant source of gratification. ( Mmm..mm on second thoughts )
But love you too much and respect myself some to be 'just that' in your life..
Friday, December 3, 2010
Hmmm on a more serious note this is a subject that plagues many a mind and causes ache to many a heart. Why do people fall in love - with the kind of person who is all wrong for them? Why couldnt they just look some more and find the right one?
This can be answered easily enough - love isnt a planned or a calculated move.
Love..simply happens..whack!! when you least expect it.
But then shouldnt a sane person hold back, if the person is all wrong for them? Or should they hold back, actually is more like what I want to ask here. It was a sort of a debate amongst us few friends a few days back.
To which the sane and the cynic one said that if people touch the fire and get burned and yet keep going back to it, then it would seem they are addicted to it and it's not pain to them it's the way their life is supposed to be. And that such people need a different definition of "supposed to be" because needs and wounds and wants dont really cut it here..we all have needs and we're all wounded. Some just need the dose more than others.
I think sometimes..people try and clutch at straws. It gives them an illusion of holding onto something for dear life, the feeling of air when you come up..that they are saved. But in their hearts they too know that its just an illusion, which might or might not last.
There is so much one could say on this topic..write reams but I will try and sum it up with something I wrote a few days back-
So it comes
to a draw
we both are
clutching at - flaws -
in our desperation..
And as for my sane and cynic friend I had a few questions of my own posed like who is gonna give that different definition to them..of what's "supposed to be" for real..true love??
True love is hard to come by if ever and someone who waits eternally is like a piece of white crushed paper flailing in the wind without ever a word (of love) written on it..
The thirst for love (I dont mean physical though it be a beautiful part of it) sometimes in a soul is so great that it eats one up and then to just have never tasted that in life and pass away with a huge emptiness inside one..
Maybe these people are going by one of my fave Quotations
Explore, Dream, Discover..
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
Though God knows I've trying to implement this quotation in my life now since a long time but chains are wrapped too strong around for escape.
Still to be able to taste that fruit before I die..
Thursday, December 2, 2010
I am not a 'writer' Just have the poem blog and this one - used for posting my random thoughts/ rants/ stuff whatever I felt strongly about (sometimes even an Oprah show issue) or something that ticked me off so on and so forth..
But this year I stopped, there just wasnt too much of me to be able to give anything here. I was already spread too thin every which way..So it was just me and my poems - on my other blog, if you could call my random thoughts that.
But today I have made a conscious decision to post here every day. Why? Beats me..or maybe not. Maybe I want to write for you. Yes YOU. again and since its gonna take some time to get back in that particular limbo again I might as well post my everyday interactions with people here. Mostly people I love.
This today then here is about a stand up comedian Greg Giraldo. RIP Greg. A very good friend had written about him some time ago and this line of hers struck a chord
''Sadness hiding behind a smile, a laugh, a joke told can be absolute torture''(Deb)
God knows this is true - as true as true can be..
How ironical is this, I mean comedians are supposed to be happy people or at least in the eyes of the public they are ever happy people with not a care in the world or if there is well then mental peace is just a laugh away. Or is it.
There's Greg who just couldnt be bothered to be in the race that life is, anymore. Because we forget that he is/was just like you and me dealing with his highs and lows of life and as ill-equipped as most of us to deal with it effectively at times..
And if one does not have a good support system then it is very hard to hold on to dreams, hopes, life..
I have felt that once in my life to go that far..and feel it on an everyday basis still..its only meditation and reaching for my inner strength (scraping the remnants more like)which helps me cope on a day to day basis. Sometimes I so wish that I drank or took something stronger or heck at least smoked to be able to cope. These weak moments are rare but there nevertheless..
Hope..one should never lose hope. Its what keeps us alive.
Forget about the ugliness spread around and give love, compassion and a willing ear to people who are going through life's low. Reach out as best as you can and turn a deaf ear to the negativity around you. I am not promoting escapism here but turning your back firmly towards people with negative words, language and thoughts and attitudes..who almost drive you to the brink. If you let them affect you then remember these are not the people who are going to put a Glock in their mouth and pull the trigger - You will..
Friday, November 5, 2010
I have not been writing regularly here even though post on my other blog 'we even cry the same way'. Feel as if can communicate through poetry right now more than prose
Monday, October 4, 2010
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Q: How many contractors are required to change a light bulb in Delhi CWG stadium?
A: 1 million. (1 to change the bulb and rest 9,99,999 to hold the ceiling)
Mail Today - A leading news daily headline (sept 23rd'10)
Games Hang By A Thread
Times Of India (sept 23rd'10)b g
97% say Games Bosses Have Tarred India's ImageWhy do I mention September 23rd here? Because thats the day I stopped paying attention to news on CWG.
When I had first heard that India is holding the Commonwealth Games this time, the first question that came to my mind was are we even capable of hosting this? Do we have the infrastructure required? Then I remembered the 'swabhimaan' that I am supposed to feel as an Indian and I didnt air or in this case 'blog' my views.
But well I knew that in more ways than one it will benefit the economy in a huge way..(please read a huge number of labourers/construction workers (underpaid ) nevertheless will have 2 square meals a day.
BUt a huge amount of our hard earned money will go in paying for all this.
Last but not the least - the weakest section of our society ( 'weakest' read - morally, mentally)will have a growth spurt in their personal economic graph.
In fact a day before the footbridge fell, I was driving by and admiring it. And I told my spouse ''well it does seem that everything will be ship-shape /ready on time. All the new metro lines/bridges will be complete and then as soon as the games are over they will start falling down one by one. There are going to be some major disasters.''
He laughed and thought I was exaggerating.
It seems that I was overestimating. And the ceiling/bridges started falling way before the Games started. ''No one was injured when a part of the false ceiling at the showpiece Jawaharlal Nehru stadium's weightlifting arena collapsed but the incident hurt a nation of 1.2 billion'' (The ceiling came down because of a 'tresspasser' they say.)
Hurt? Who me?? Only my ego is hurt as to how I could predictthe timing wrong. As old age creeps along the mind becomes softer I guess.
''To add to the worldwide shame of a ''filthy and unlivable''Games Village and the igominy of a pedestrian bridge collapse that injured 27 costruction workers, at least eight blocks of the false ceilingat the weightlifting venue fell right where the judges were to sit during the competition''(Mail Today)
Then there was the news that the snakes and dogs seem to be the co-residents of the Games Village there..
Anyway its going to start today and I only hope that the ceiling doesnt come dashing down on India's hopes midway during the Games..fingers crossed.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Thursday, September 16, 2010
She feels people of Islam have been burning since ages the christian Bible, The US flag (along with sundry others) and would burn the people of America if given a chance and that the govt. of the US is being lax when it comes to reacting to this terrorism and taking precautionary steps related to 9/11. But at the same time is very firm and strict when it comes to dealing with reactions/feelings and anger of people who were directly or indirectly affected by the 9/11 attack..
Burning Bibles, flags etc is so true of the extremist types. I totally empathise with the pain of the people directly or indirectly (the whole world - barring of course the extremists) affected by 9/11.
And I am against the firing/sacking of the guy who decided to burn a holy book outside the site proposed for the mosque..('A new Jersey train conductor, Derek Fenton was fired from his job because he decided to burn the Quran outside the planned mosque near ground zero on september 11th. He was with his company for 11 years with a very good reputation')
Though personally I dont agree with his decision of burning it, but as I see it you (the company) could give him some flak, but sack - NO.
But I do think that the people who decided to build a mosque near 'ground zero' should realize they can only do this in America or such countries where fanaticm is not considered an attribute. They could have been more sensitive about choosing or rather not choosing this as a site for the proposed mosque..There is an adage in hindi which says 'jale per namak chirakna' also in english the same thing goes as 'rubbing salt on one's wounds' Sensitivity is definitely not their strong point , though the intentions might be good/peaceful.
She feels everyone else (in other countries) is burning their flags, bibles and whatnot, and yet in America people get fired, arrested and get a 10k reward (whoa) over their heads if they do something that comes under the basic first amendment rights..That doesnt make sense to her and she feels that it could be fear of Islam that drives the United Statesto take these decisions..
I dont agree personally, because I feel its not fear thats driving the US to take these steps..its sanity.
I think its commendable when US tries to keep their sanity and enforce peace (though the 10k reward does seem a bit over the top ''the police are offering a 10k reward for information leading upto the burning of a Quran outside of a city mosque')
Only sane people will try to keep order when feelings are running high. Its just like the adult butting in during the kids fight.
Only a tree which bears fruit/is heavily laden with fruit bows/has flexibility 'goes another hindi adage.
This is America's 'one drop' in the ocean of humanity..I have this theory and I am very fond of repeating this 'one drop' theory over and over again.
I believe if each of us contributes our one drop of goodness (of thought or action) in this life's ocean the world would be a beautiful/peaceful place.
One drop is 'trying' to be responsible/sensible when noone else is, its 'trying' to contribute what we can for the good of society in however/whatever small or big way we can. Its reaching out - physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.
Its feeling, empathising, being there..
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
They fill the water pistol with water and then empty it on some unsuspecting soul passing by.
One thing thats really not good is the use of water balloons. Unsuspecting school/college girls are at the recieving end of this practice by kids and most times goons. The festival seems to give them a licence to leer and smear while saying the adage that goes with this festival - ' Dont mind this because its Holi..
Women who use public transport dread this wonderful festival because of this ugly twist to it. The law is getting stricter by the day though. The kid is out there in the balcony emptying the teeny-weeny water pistol on the potted plants I have outside. That takes care of the watering chore for me hahaa.
I've been trying my hand at various things that I'd never tried before in life. Making some traditional Holi delicacies being one and come 2009 I tried my hand at pickles. I took it up as a challenge. And God was I surprised when it turned out ok. So I got carried away and now have pickled lemon, pickled Indian gooseberry, pickled green chillies all on my shelf with a Indian gooseberry jam bottle too. For Holi I made some fried hard crackers -(mathi) and Gujhiya( Traditional Indian Sweet Puff) which is made of refined white flour kneaded and then rolled out to actually rolling it into small circles , then stuffed and folded/sealed (stuffing is usually Powdered sugar as per taste, Cardamom powder, coconut powder, Dry fruits - pistachios, almonds, sultana's etc) And of course then deep fried like the crackers.
It took all day yesterday and two hours today to wrap it off. Hmm not bad - I liked the experience. I am constantly amazed at myself. From being a diehard feminist in college and radical/rebel against the stereotypical roles cut out for women in the Indian society- to fighting the caste system of this country, I have come a long way.
Actually die hard feminism in India some years ago just translated into wearing westerns, and not accepting the gender unequality prevalent in the home, the street, the school/college and then later the office. If you did this then you were a feminist. Now I have changed and how.
Cooking is pretty theraupatic just like gardening I feel.
Ok guys happy Holi to all of you!
Monday, March 9, 2009
Just yesterday I mentioned the state of the Indian roads and today a leading news daily (TOI) has 'sms joke of the day' on it which is -
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Potholed, missing, bumper to bumper traffic for miles simply because a small car is parked by some thoughtless soul ( but why the traffic jam, since its a 4lane road and the car is parked in one corner of the road, there shouldnt be any problem in traffic passing. Oh how could I forget the rubbernecking syndrome every (ok to be just not every but almost every) Indian suffers from - that explains the jam.) and if everything else is allright? Then well, cordoned off for some new construction happening. Imagine a stretch of one kilometer taking 30 minutes..
Well the song 'country roads take me home' comes to my mind all twisted
'Delhi roads dont take me home
keep me glued on the road
with all the honks
and emissions..Delhi roads
Usually we try to avoid these roads by taking the route most used by the VIP's ( President/prime minister of India) which by far are the best roads in the city. But you see it isnt possible every single day. Because one's business does tend to be in different parts of the city..
On top of all this an angry partner doesnt help - mouthing/shouting choicest words punctuated with honks. Boy am I glad the horn aint working well anymore.
It was overused
- how long could it survive
this relentless honking of
day and night..
oh well twas a long and tiring day. Maybe some other day we can come back to this topic.
Friday, March 6, 2009
'I would like to pass this award to the following blogs:'
I almost fainted to see my name there. I mean my blogs name. I felt tears sting my eyes and that again took me by surprise because I didnt know it would touch me so much because I've never gone by the validation process in life..
Hey Rick, thanks, I appreciate this.
You must pass it on to 5 other Fabulous Bloggers in a post receiving the award.
You must include the person that gave you the award, and link it back to them.
You must list 5 of your Fabulous addictions in the post.
You must copy and paste these rules in the post.
My 5 fabulous addictions/interests are:
love ( 'Love' used to enjoy the first spot always and look how the mighty have fallen - to the last place.)
I would like to pass this award to the following blogs:
Thank you so much for the Award!!!
I am honored to join the club. :) thank you.
Monday, March 2, 2009
The attack on the Sri Lankan cricketers in Pakistan is shocking.
Nothing was sacred ever for the terrorists except their religion - which is terrorism. This is the only religion which teaches to kill innocent people. No religion preaches killing..So the terrorists only have terrorism as their religion. They cannot call any other religion their own.
Somewhere deep down in the monsters psyche lurks a male I used to think, who cheers at goals, and has the same adrenaline rush on great scores.
But they have proven again and again that terrorism has no religion and terrorism holds nothing sacred.
I am sorry but I feel I am not coherent, but my mind aint worlking at all..I am shocked.
Meanwhile politicians in Pakistan are busy with their own agenda..
Attack on Lankan team just like 26/11: Pak Punjab Guv
( oops Jo would/might have a problem about the usage of the word 'soul' for I have visited her blog and she aint sure whether she has a soul or not)
Ok jus kiddin Jo, hope you dont mind it.
Friday, February 27, 2009
"I am truly happy that every Indian I meet is beaming, and it is the ultimate compliment for me that people in India see 'Slumdog Millionaire' as an Indian film. However in reality it is a British film. It is very gritty in the begining and very realistic because our film culture is based on that kind of realism which in Bollywood (ouch) and Hollywood (double ouch) isnt quite there".
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Headline of a leading newspaper screams today. You go like 'What' and grab the paper to read whether you did get what they are saying. Oh yes tis true. Its another peerless example of the Indian justice system or the mockery of it.
It so happens that in this case a 3 year old boy was kidnapped by 3 men some 10 years ago, who later let the boy go unharmed, scotfree. ( thank God for that at least) So the High Court here refused to show any leniency towards the kidnappers , or heed their argument that they should be spared a life term because the boy was allowed to go unharmed. Dismissing the
appeals filed by the trio, the court stated,"the very act of kidnapping a child and demanding ransom for his release , by the very nature of the act, would give rise to a reasonable apprehension that a child would be hurt or killed if the ransom is not paid".
It all very well and I am not disputing the verdict because I firmly believe that the hand of the law should be swift and firm. Now 'swift' is impossible in this country, but 'firm' aye, they were in this case.
The only problem I see in India is the way they treat their women. The case I wrote ( label India) about a few days ago here where a convict ( who had raped and later driven a girl to suicide) according to the court "had redeemed himself by simply cracking the UPSC ( civil services) exam". Though he has been deemed an offender but he was out on bail, and in fact the court thought that the mere 5 years the accused had served in prison was sufficient punishment suffered especially since he had gotten through an exam ( the whole country is obsessed with )
So what is it with the Indian judges anyway? Do they feel so strongly against the kidnappers in this case because the kidnapped was a 'boy' and not a lil girl, or do they think that 'raping a human being and later driving them to suicide by blackmailing' is a lesser crime of the two??
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Hope he knows his spells. Fingers crossed..
By 'here' I mean 'the world', because what happens in the States has repurcussions the world over..heck India went into the panic mode as soon as the "US economic Crisis' news swept the world.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
'RAPE CONVICT cracks UPSC''Set to walk free as High Court grants partial relief'..reads the head and sub headline of a leading Indian daily a few days ago.
Read on the full article here..
'NEW DELHI: A rape convict who cleared the civil services examination while serving his sentence, has won partial relief from the Delhi High Court on Tuesday, which said he had "redeemed himself in jail'' by qualifying for the top job.
A division bench comprising Justice Pradeep Nandrajog and Justice Aruna Suresh refused to acquit Ashok Rai alias Amit and said he will continue to remain a convict for the crime of raping one Sushmita (name changed), who committed suicide in 2003.
Rai will now be released from jail as he has already been behind bars for a period of five years and six months, with HC seeing this incarceration as "meeting the ends of justice''
The limited relief for Rai came in the form of HC setting aside his conviction under section 306 (abetment to suicide) after both judges concluded he was only guilty of obtaining her consent for sex on the "false promise of marriage'' (which constitutes rape), but didn't push her to end her life.
"At the age of 21, Sushmita was mature enough to understand the moral worth of her acts. She was conscious that by having repeated sex with Rai she could become pregnant and hence he had told her to take contraceptive tablets,'' HC observed, saying there is "some participative act committed by Sushmita.'' Therefore her contention in her suicide note blaming Rai for
her death didn't hold, the court added.
Rai used to take chemistry tuitions and started giving extra classes to Sushmita in 2003. According to her suicide note, the tutor drugged her in one of the coaching sessions and then induced her into having sex with him. Later they regularly had sex as Rai promised the duo will soon tie the knot. Sushmita maintained it was when Rai asked her to take contraceptive tablets
that she sensed she was being "used'', but felt trapped as she was madly in love with him.
Things worsened when Rai allegedly asked her to have sex with a third person from whom he wanted a favour. However, HC found no evidence to susbtantiate this allegation of Sushmita that she actually had sex with a third person.
"The suicide note has to be read as a whole. Emotions of the deceased had to be segregated vis-a-vis her statement of fact noted in suicide note,'' HC said, agreeing with the prosecution that Rai induced Sushmita into having sex with him on the false assurance of marriage, but disregarding that this drove her to commit suicide.'
So this was the article..This is what Indian judiciary is coming to or rather stooping to. Actually one cant blame them either. Earlier it used to be that people who spent all of their lives in studying with the goal of getting through the UPSC exams and thus becoming top Indian brass in the INDIAN FOREIGN SERVICE, INDIAN ADMINISTRATIVE SERVICE and the IPS or the lowest in the choice rung of the candidates THE INDIAN POLICE SERVICE.
So after spending some 20-25 years in sole pursuit of getting through this exam they then after selection learn the ropes of taking the topmost decisions in running this country, and along with it comes the incentive or the 'perks'..
Perks of being well connected for some, and for some, making loads of money through various shady deals which need their 'help' (signature/approval).
I guess its thoughtfull of these High court judges to give partial relief to a criminal just becaiuse he was brainy enough to crack this UPSC nut. So instead of now first getting thru and then getting into shady activities, one can have a headstart in this case. First one becomes a criminal and then an IAF/IAS (or even better join the ) 'Indian Police Service'.
In a country obsessed with the 'civil services' in fact I am surprised that the judges didnt let the guy go scot free. They did the next best thing for him though. Yeah for him..they definitely werent thinking about the criminal in his genius mind, and definitely not about the tortured girl who was driven by this man to the extreme of taking her own life..
All the criminals or the aspiring criminals in India better be intelligent if they want to be pardoned or get away with a lean verdict. Being intelligent is the prerequisite for the criminals in India now.
This is not a lone case of looney verdict either. Actually the Indian justice system is full of loopholes and the rest ..well is taken care of by simply greasing some palms. Its as simple as breathing in India which is only second to China in corruption. If you dont 'give' then you can forget to have a hearing anytime soon. The takers are nonchalant in the taking. Its almost like a 'birthright' for them.
There was this other case a few years ago in the papers where a paedophile had been granted bail for raping a girl while she was on her way to school after cornering her in a secluded spot. The two HC judges ( one I remember as a 'Mishra') said that it was just a one off incidence as he was taken in by strong lust and though he shouldnt have commited the crime, it was nevertheless an act of a man who had a momentary lapse of reason in the throes of lustfull feelings. I believe the man was given a ridiculously low sentence.
What do you expect from a country where paedophilia is rampant and incest common. It seemed at the time to me that the judges were way too 'empathatic' with the rapist. And there is more good news for criminals and people with a criminal bent of mind in India. They just decided that they will let the rape offenders, even paedophiles out on bail and not lock them up unless they fail to come for their hearing. Imagine paedophiles commiting the heinous crime again and again while the courts let them go free to predate on little innocent minds. In any case the sentence is hardly anything to fear. 5-10 years?
The papers are full of this mockery of justice in the name of justice everyday.
Monday, February 16, 2009
"And when sex is working in a relationship, it's just one small part of the working relationship. But when it's not working, it really can take on a life of its own and really fray the fiber of your connection to one another."
(( So true, its so true. If sex is missing from a relationship it takes on a life of its own, where you can see nothing else except the rejection/ a huge betrayel from your love. ))
As a result, Dr. Berman says a patient ( a case study of the doc) began to resent her husband. "She withdrew from the relationship, and if you're resentful toward someone, you're not going to want to have sex with them," Dr. Berman says.
((Like me and my partner..we arnt into sex at all or rather he is not into it. He uses it as a tool and Boy that tool hasnt worked AT ALL for the past six years hahaa. And even before that well dont ask me..Well I might laugh it off but I totally agree with the doc here that if one is resentful they arnt going to want to have sex with that person. The point is that shouldnt they keep the problems out of the bedroom, and shouldnt they instead try and talk things over rather than let stuff fester for ages and eons..as in my case. I feel I've been way too patient with my partner))
The doc's patient admits that she withheld sex from her hubby as a punishment. "I felt like he wasn't worthy of me having sex with him if he could not do things I needed him to do," she says. "I would give it to him in rations."
(( Well she did give it to him in rations, no such luck here))
Rationing sex, Dr. Berman says, is protecting yourself when you don't completely trust your partner. "When you have sex with someone, you're giving them a gift," Dr. Berman says. "You're sharing something very sacred and powerful with them, and if you're not feeling good about them and good about the relationship, it's really hard to do."
(( I can see the doc's point here that when one has sex with someone - they are giving them a gift. Seems to be in sync with my partners beliefs and attitude except my partner goes a step further and thinks he IS Gods gift hahaa Ok jokes apart it hurts when someone who shares your life and is with you a major part of your life resents you or doesnt trust you. So why is that person still 'togethet with the person they resent and dont really /arnt really sharing their lives with - its another form of revenge I think - holding on tight - so that the other person cant break free and live with dignity far from a life where rejection tick-tocks large every second of the day))
Thursday, February 12, 2009
I couldnt give a damn what you say to me
I dont really care what you think of me
Cause either way you're gonna think what you believe
There's nothing you could say that would hurt me
I'm better off without you anyway
I thought it would be hard but I'm ok
I dont need you if youre gonna be that way
Cause with me it's all or nothing
I'm sick of it uhh dont deny
You're a waste of time
I'm sick of it uhh Don't ask why
[Chorus:]I Hate you now
So go away from me
You're gone So
can do betterI can do better
HeyHey youI found myself again
Thats why Goodbye
I can do better I can do better..
And the song goes on thus..descibing a relationship gone all wrong.
The singer here seems to be perfectly content with the state -or lack of it- of the relationship she has right now. You want to say ' way to go girl', yeah show the bugger you mean it and so on and so forth.
Whats the point in a relationship when one party has to slog/ do all the work so it doesnt break?
But thats purely my view. There are books that are being published nowadays and emancipated women are even reading it, hell, Oprah the messiah of the wronged women had it on her show.. whats this world coming to?
There the author tells many ways how a partners small adjustment in ttitude/gestures/thinking/reacting can turn a relationship around. And do you know who's doing all the adjusting here..The woman of course.
Just a slight shift in attitude and - wham you have your man.
Or so the author thinks. I was surprised to find that the author was not of Indian (as in India) origin or a male.
So 'Hazing: Why Are Girls Hurting Girls?' this was another link on Oprah's site, though the article is not relevant to what I am writing about, the title surely seems relevant to my topic. Why do women have to do all the work. And how can a woman suggest this to other women? The author in that article talked about how if a woman adjusted some, and then adjusted some more , she could give her man an ego high and voila their relationship would be hunky dory again. She had to see his negative behaviour in a new light so that it doesnt seem so negative after all. I think she means something like diffusing a photograph so that the facial features soften up and the wrinkles dont really stand out.
But can we forget that the wrinkles are very much there?
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
The day before I got this 'fwd' in my mailbox called 'the stunning fact of life'This article was Published in the Washington Post web site, you could read the whole article there..
Its a stunning fact of life - thats what it was called, and it is stunning indeed how superficially we are evolving as far as our mental state is concerned. Are we really evolving even as we evolve? So read on and here goes..
A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time,since it was rush hour, it was calculated that a thousandpeople went through the station, most of them on their way to work.
Three minutes went by and a middle aged man noticed there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for afew seconds and then hurried up to meet his schedule.
A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping continued to walk.
A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and startedto walk again. Clearly he was late for work.
The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy.His mother tagged him along, hurried, but the kid stopped tolook at the violinist. Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk turning his head all the time.This action was repeated by several other children. All theparents, without exception, forced them to move on..
In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one ofthe best musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written with a violin worth 3.5million dollars.
Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theatre in Boston and the seats average $100.This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as partof a social experiment about perception, taste and priorities of people. The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour: Do we perceive beauty?Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?
One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be: If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?
..So how did you find the article? Isnt it amazing that we pay top dollar for the same seat that was coming free at the metro station. Are we really that much into labels and pomp/show?
Its just like a really talented artist not being given prime gallery space, but a known but mediocre artist being begged to show there by the same gallery. Why because that artist would be 'known' which simply tranlates into has held more exhibitions/sold more/and most of all has proper connections..
And when a freind asks me all excited whether the dress I am wearing is 'one of the top brands', and my reply is in the negative immediately 'oohs and aahs' stop and the 'no great shakes' look jumps right in..We are getting more and more superficial. We are paying too much attention to brands rather than quality. Heck anything goes in the name of a brand.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
For which other President in the History of United states of America has said 'I SCREWED UP'.
( why such brouhaha over this new fangled President I ask you - an old relative of mine asked me - whats so great about him anyway) But it was this and no other - this new fangled wangled President Barack Obama - who admitted in a series of TV interviews he screwed up.
At CBS, Obama plainly said: 'I screwed up'. At CNN he was a little thoughtful: 'I think I screwed up, and I take responsibility for it.' And at NBC he wondered: 'Did I screw up in this situation? Absolutely. And I'm willing to take my lumps.''
Now isnt that absolutely crazy and so positively unthinkable/unexpected apology coming from the President himself. Yeah its so crazy, its almost heroic. Which other President had the guts to own up after a screw up. Which other President offered a national apology for commiting a mistake of having double standards which is the norm anyway when you are up there.
Its true that he should have known in the first place but, he was quick to own up and do something about it.
So if ordinary Americans are cut no slack if they fall behind on their taxes why should the VIP's be treated any different. Its THE message that will get across to everyone concerned that new ethical standards are being set - not just for the ordinary Junta but the VIPs as well.
But when he says '''I campaigned on changing Washington and bottom-up politics. And I don't want to send a message to the American people that there are two sets of standards: one for powerful people and one for ordinary folks who are working every day and paying
'And I'm here on television saying I screwed up and that's part of the era of responsibility, is not never making mistakes; it's owning up to them and trying to make sure you never repeat them and that's what we intend to do.'
Yes tis true that one doesnt fail when falls, but its failure indeed when one doesnt get up and walk again.
So make sure everytime you fall- for there will be times oh yeah there will be times when you will/might, but make sure you get back right up everytime and walk again..We expect no less from you.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Those poetry sessions should have warned me, I should have realized that before- feel a bit of an emotional woozy and wham you go down. Emotions sap your energy..
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Since nobody can really protest, I can post away to glory my poems..If you like it - good/great, but if you dont hahaaa..
Feel so small
- alone - in bed.
with you - its infinity..
I do not hurt
- I beg -
and - while I cry
it sleeps -
Friday, January 30, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
How many roads must a man walk down
Before you call him a man?
Yes, 'n' how many seas must a white dove sail
Before she sleeps in the sand?
Yes, 'n' how many times must the cannon balls fly
Before they're forever banned?
The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind,.....................
The answer is blowin' in the wind...........
And the answer my friend just might be that there is space enough for all of us here on earth ( and now they think they found some pure water on Mars too so..) ...be yourself, but not at the expense of other people, their feelings, their religion..
This is in lieu of an article in an Indian newspaper by the famous or rather infamous Homosexual activist ASHOK ROW KAVI, who true to his middle name loves to stir a 'row' just for controversies sake or draw some attention to himself. He does this by attacking heterosexual people by drawing comparisons which sound more or less like 'Straight versus 'Homo'. If this man's intention is to bring justice/recognition and /or a sympathatic/empathatic attitude towards homosexuals ( Indian Homo's) then he is doing anything but.
I must remember though to be gentle with him as All his life since the time he must first have understood his sexual orientation, he must have fought a battle for survival in the then closed Indian society so much so that it took all his energy and as a result the brain cells dont appear to have developed beyond a certain stage - this observation is purely based on account of the articles he so loves to write.
Poor man doesnt know that to get the homosexuals the respect that they deserve, he doesnt need to pull down other people (for being heterosexuals). He doesnt need to disrespect anothers belief or orientation just so he gets respect for his tribe.
I am sorry to use the word 'Tribe' but I am sorry whenever I have read him, he comes across as a wronged leader of some mumbo-jumbo tribe. If he is the spokesperson/messiah of the Indian homo's then God save them. Instead of empathy he inspires fierce dislike (for him) by his comparisons and attacks.
Personally I have nothing against homosexuals ( I know this sounds like a glib smoothie but its true). Though initially during the teenage years when I found out about homosexuality - I went from disbelief to whoa, and after some years of teenage denial that this kind of 'abnormal' situation can exist between two same sex individuals ( the radical and understanding person that I am ( oh yes sir) I went 'well whyever not'?
Well Whatever dings one's dang ( I just made this up right now for want of better words to write) I thought.
Anyway I think in a perfect world we can co-exist peacefully if we dont want to prove that hey I am better than you, or try to unearth ( sometimes non-existant 'truths') against the other as discriminatory evidence. Man you dont have to play dirty. In the 21st century India which recently hosted a 'Gay Pride Parade', had a few award winning movies on this subject I dont think you need to get in a mud slinging match - with who? Nobody's even standing there, who are you pitting against 'Kavi' or should I say 'Row'?
Nobody's is interested Row. And if they do get interested then it would be for all the wrong reasons.
The article talks about some book on how commonly mentioned Homosexuality is in ancient Hindu scriptures and hence a good number or the main two deities have suspect preferences, and here they go quoting some 'shloka' without fully understanding the meaning. Like 'Row said that the sanskrit ( ancient language) is 'annotated and precise'. But first the one who translates it has to do so precisely, right? It cant be ambigous because one is dealing with sensitive stuff - which here isnt 'homosexuality' but religion.
Hindus are pretty easygoing( ahem lazy if you please) /liberal ( except a small number (thank God) of rigid people) when it comes to someone poking fun at their Gods and Goddesses and their religion. They even throw a joke or two in themselves, for good measure, because they are aware of the fact that 'Hindutva', is all about compassion, to live and let live and religion is a way of life yes but you cant take life too seriously. So this happy go lucky mood prevails mostly.
This book here which goes on to defame the Hindu religion is written by not a hindu but a combo of a christian and a muslim writer. The translation Row says is 'painstaking effort, not to be challenged by pettyfogging homophobes in Hinduism'..Now because Hindus as a community are so lazy thats why they can easily be challenged by a pettyfogging loosescrews Ashok Row and get away with it too. I can almost see most of them read this article and say 'what's this man talking about does he even know, and to what purpose? Has he gone mad talking nonsense'. And thats about it. After this they will turn to the next article nonchalantly sipping their morning cuppa.
Thats why people like Row are thriving because a whole community is too lazy to confront him.
Lord Krishna is the only suspect material ( strictly in my eyes) but his actions are explained beautifully by the scriptures as being symbolic. Hmmm. Even if it is actually true, then lets not forget that he is the God of the Dwapar Yuga a time just before the Dark Ages or the 'Kalyug started'..He is a almost a contenmporary, and I am sure we can grant him his wayward ways considering that hahaa.
Hmm Row Row..uh BTW I just realized that this guy Row has actually started a trend within the Homo community in India as to dropping their surnames and taking up the 'Rai' (the old version of 'Row') I personally know of a guy who is 50 ish,never married, and changed his last name to 'Rai'. Quite an Icon there Row.
In fact in India like a visiting Australian stand-up-comedian commented once that the male-bonding is very evident and alarming on the Indian streets. You can see males walking hand in hand, hugging or touching each other too much, and when they are not doing that well they are standing a bit tooooo close to each other.
Well tell me about it boss.
Its purely a personal view ( shared nevertheless by dozens of good friends from Planet Venus) that almost 99% of the Indian male population consists of homosexuals.. When asked about their single status they lament about how there arent any good men around. The nice, sensitive ones already have boyfriends.
But I admire them. The ones who come out and are proud of whoever they are..embrace their difference and be comfortable with it, and dont go about ruining other people's lives by marrying them and being closet homo's comfortably.
I have seen/met honest homo's and creepy/closet homo's but just the one lunatic Row.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Hi dearest ,
its so busy at work that i havent seen those snaps of prez obama you were talking about . ....will do now , it has been crazy , after picking arial i have to still work ....ugh.
i am sure unless one puts any pressure anything ever gets resolved , someone has to work and then others reap the benefits .
we never bought any car for arial , it was for ted (debbie's son ). its was for usd110.00 so around rs4000 . we will buy the same for arial once summer arrives then he can play with it outside , its not easy in a small place .
tomorrow i have to go to work in the city so wont be responding to you ....
its very cold and tomorrow is supposed to be a cold storm so god only knows what time i will reach .
this evening the babysitter said that for picking him up late there will be a fine so accordingly hubby will have to leave as i cannot ....
you know a lesser know actor mickey rourke won the emmy for his performance , poor fellow was flat broke and lost his marriage . anyway it was a great thing that he won the emmy and is nominated for the oscar ..
He would like to live in the white house ( who wont ) ......michelle is tall thats why she cant wear very high heels she wear kitten heels only ....she dresses well , well when we have money then dressing sense does get better...
take care lots of love
Monday, January 26, 2009
On Sun, 25 Jan 2009 Poo wrote :
Sorry for not responding earlier, nice that you called. Yeah I am still in touch with debbie. Why would i loose touch with her . she's a good friend of mine and hope to remain that way . it was fun going to her place , Ted behaved so much like a biig brother . Aron enjoyed there and was copying her uncle aunty's coughing which he heard after a long time coz my mil was always coughing . we bought a car for him but it was too tough for him to assemble so hubby dear did half , rest he will do next time .
>well big bags are in fashion so you should try using it and then it will grow on you .
>rest all is fine , its cold again .,......dont feel like even working but have to pay the bills right.....
I do have a bigger bag than the one Di gifted me, I'd bought it fr myself (from Colaba) when we were in BOM for Papa's exhibition. So today the kid shifted all my stuff in the new bag and it was small for all the stuff I accumulated getting comfortable hahaa. And I love it too, has kind of a dark goth look with studs and all, but underdone.
Arial must have looked so cute copycat coughing like that. I remember I used to go all gaga when the kid used to copy me like that, or scolding by clearing the throat loudly.
Wow so your bro is now a cook too, I mean he has learnt to make peanut butter toffee. Wow. Like I said the guy surprises everytime. I guess that’s one of the high points of dating a chef.
Read recently this article- ‘A group of prominent Indian Americans will meet the members of the US Adminstration and top Congressmen to demand that they step up pressure on Pakistan to take action against those responsible for the Mumbai carnage.
Around 150 Indian American leaders from various parts of the country will meet the members of the Obama administration and top Congressmen on Tuesday to impress upon them the need for Pakistan to bring the perpetrators of the crime to justice.
These leaders represent "Indian American Task Force", which was set up by several Indian American organizations, to lobby at the Capitol and before the new administration for bringing to justice the perpetrators of the terror attacks that killed at least 173 people including several foreign nationals. Six of them were American citizens.’
What’s your take on this? Do you think this kind of pressure tactic is good so early on. And what do they hope to achieve by this anyway? Do you think Obama will pick up the phone and do the needful?
BTW did you see the snaps where the Obama’s and the bush’s have their pix taken together. There are quite a few there. Pretty good ones too. Michelle’s quite tall. Obama, Bush and Michelle look pretty good. Laura however might have had some pressing engagement and seems like couldn’t quite make it to the Photo-op and so they had to make do with her wax statue borrowed from Madame Tussauds.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
I do hope everything's ok at your end, you havent written-unless I count the one line yesterday.
For want of better things to say , here’s a song I wrote sometime back..Hope you like it too..
Well here goes..
The girl who wants to make you laugh,
or the child that makes you cry.
The words that come out thru’ your eyes,
the tears that make you smile.
Tell me - have you ever smiled on tears,
and emotions - that teach you nothing but lies..
have you ever tried to love?
Ever tried to fly??
Tell me ’cause I’m a lonely traveller,
In a land more beautiful than dreams.
Tell me - so that I take back the gift,
- a souvenir of dreams..
Always tried - tried..to be a human
-cried when the child cried,
-wanted always to be oh human,
-turned out to be a machine..
Have always wanted to share my love,
have always been too shy..
Always wanted to share with everyone,
But - failure makes me die..
Save me ”cause I am a lonely traveller,
In a land of barriers and screams.
Save me ’cause I have loved everyone,
In your land - stranger than dreams..
lotsa love and keep writing
Friday, January 23, 2009
He closed the Guantanamo Bay Prison on his first full day in office. Wow that’s some decision. Well he has a lot going for him what with him being a president twice already haaha, for has he not taken the oath again?
This is a first step for the US.. Lets not say that America has its first Black President, but that Obama’s victory has paved the way for ‘A first black president’ of the United States of America.
So Obama is the first step. Born of a white mother and a black father, and with relatives from almost all over the world belonging to various religions, if anything then Obama is the first ‘Ebony and Ivory’ President.
A baby Step..
Its just like the papers in India shouting ‘Golden Globe for an Indian film at last’
‘Indian Cinema has arrived’
‘10 Oscar nominations for an Indian movie’
or sentiments like ‘the Indian Cinema is at par with the world or (hilarious) ‘finally being recognized’.
The movie in question is ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ and the director who made it all possible is Danny Boyle who doesn’t need an introduction-even in India now, even though people in their excitement are ready to pass him off as an Indian or someone who is ‘more Indian than Indians themselves’.
Well an Indian didn’t make this movie – but he got this half bred/bastard movie noticed/selected at the Golden Globes and now the Oscars too. Indian Movie isn’t just being made in India, but will have an Indian director as well who can show that he can get an Indian movie the recognition that Danny Boyle got it.
‘Slumdog Millionaire’ is half an Indian movie and Obama is only half black. Slumdog is ‘America’s Obama’ in movies-it’s the first baby step.
I am proud of The America that elected Obama as President, and it wasn’t all black vote that he got. Lets please not forget that people. We need many more steps to achieve a true feeling of brotherhood in the world. And for that we don’t need statements from celebs like Denzel Washington who wield a lot of power on impressionable minds.
Martin Luther king III writes in the Washingto Post that ‘I was overcome ( at Obama being chosen) not only by the jubilation that enveloped the church but also by a deep sense of pride ( I understand) and Triumph ( whoa ). Of course I shared in what felt like a national catharsis. But for me, mr. Obama’s victory was intensely personal.’
Denzel Washington says ‘We (??) waited a long time to get here, but we have to be involved. Its about all of us. There’s been a lot of change to lead to this moment. Many came before him, made sacrifices for this day to happen. Its for them’.
Now I do understand what you’re saying here mah man but it reeks of (definitely) divisive. And we don’t want that. We can do without it.
Yes, We Can.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
I know you also got influeced by Obama . thats the thing people have too many expectations from him so sometimes that can be very scary . however its a matter of great pride that he reached there being born to a black father and white mother . he also comes from a middle class background like us .
We were planning a ski-trip but as we had to shell out usd500 for the fridge . so its better to lie low , i dont know will have to cancel it . as such i dont want to keep slipping and falling on snow ...dont like it so much ...anyway take care and thanks for being understanding about this delay in responding ..
Congratulations on Obama becoming the 44th president of the United States of America. I think it’s a cause for celebration not just in the US but the world as well, as his victory means the victory of ‘hope over fear’ as he himself says.
I think Indian Americans supported him the most than any other Asian American community – beats me why. Maybe we are more optimistic, broadminded and evolved? His winning definitely bodes well for the minorities heck everyone if you go by this (I just love that ) sentence of his ‘We’re a Nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus – and non-believers’.
Man he’s got some way of getting to you ( or else has a bloody good speech writer). In time as the euphoria dies I hope he proves himself well beyond the tag of ‘The first black President’ so that not just America but the entire world can look past his color and appreciate his leadership qualities.
I think once I told you about a personal motto of mine ‘ Always expect the worse, only then you have a chance’. With Obama I seriously hope it isn’t true, but everyone is so hopeful and has such huge expectations from this guy – its scary.
What the Foreign Minister, France said is funny but so true ’We should not expect him to immediately solve all America’s problems, or ours..’
I think that’s what the whole world is expecting from him , some kind of magical cure. Poor guy wouldn’t want to be in his shoes. Heck he even got me talking about Politics – a subject I am abhor/ am allergic to. Now that’s magic all right.
Ok Yaar, I'll sign off now or else I can be accused of ‘Oba-mania’ , so bye and take care.